Posting a little late-night note here after a long day. Nick had the whole day off today, but is working overnight tonight, so I haven't had much of a chance to get on the computer. I managed to stay caught up on laundry and got the grocery shopping done and some errands done, too. Now that it's getting harder for me to move around a lot and harder to carry much, I almost detest going to the grocery store alone, so I was so blessed that he wanted to come with .
I was almost positive I was going to go into real labor last night. It's kind of hard to believe, with all the times this little baby has cried wolf so far . But I was having some pretty good contractions, complete with pressure and pain in my lower back. Nick and I went to sleep fully expecting to wake up in a few hours because this was really it, but I woke up in the morning with nothing again .
Anyway, since we woke up a little late (yes, on top of it, I actually got GOOD sleep LOL!), Nick said we would get some Chinese food for lunch, since that got his mom going with all 4 of her births. Of course, nothing has happened yet. I have caught myself lately looking for natural ways to “get things going,” and while I know that God is really in charge and that most of the things I have tried are just for fun, I have to think that God is reminding me that ONLY He is going to make this happen.
I know in my heart that I really don't want to try and take it out of God's hands, but sometimes my mind tells me “Hey, if this really works, we'll have that baby today!” I have to constantly remind myself that only God knows the best time and He's already got it all figured out. It's kind of like a diet you've been on before that has worked absolutely perfect…but somehow you still seem to fall off of it. I know for a fact that if I just give this completely over to Him and stop being obsessed with this going MY way, the Lord will most likely work it out pretty close to what I am asking for anyway. It's happened that way so many times with so many other things. Things always go so much more smoothly when I just Let Go and Let God. It's getting to the letting go part that's always the struggle, it seems. That truly can be the hardest part, can't it?
If you find it in your heart, I ask for your prayers in this particular battle of letting go. I do know what I need to do, but I ask for the Lord's peace to come over me in this, so that I don't have to keep reminding myself over and over again.
For nothing is impossible with God.